Trouble is a friend

Lauren Conrad
Age: 20

Hometown: Laguna Beach, CA

Relationship Status: Single and ready to mingle

Quote: "Spencer is a sucky person!"

Claim to Hills Fame: The fashion student-turned-reality star, known as LC to the Laguna Beach faithful, is again at the forefront of the third season of her MTV series The Hills. This time, the normally nice girl is ready to rumble - especially when it comes to refuting comments her former-BFF Heidi and her man Spencer have made about her in the media.

About L.A. CandyL.A. Candy, Lauren Conrad’s first novel, is a book that raises all sorts of important questions. For example, what exactly is “just the right amount of sexy stubble”? What qualifies as “off-the-charts SAT scores”? What is the appropriate attire to wear with a microphone?

In the proud tradition of Jack Kerouac, James Joyce, and Philip Roth, Conrad’s first novel is semiautobiographical: The story follows Jane Roberts as she moves to L.A. to fulfill her dream of becoming an “events planner,” and on the way gets cast as the star of a reality series.

Those looking for a true roman à clef, however, may be somewhat disappointed. While there are clearly some analogs that a seasoned viewer of The Hills cannot miss (“Jesse Edwards”=Brody Jenner, “Hannah”=Whitney, “Fiona Chen”=Lisa Love/Kelly Cutrone) there are no real Heidi or Spencer counterparts and the book isn’t really a thinly veiled tell-all of the “juicy secrets” behind the show.

The most revealing section of the book in that respect may be the Acknowledgments page where, in addition to thanking her “collaborator” Nancy Ohlin, Conrad thanks her “best friends”: Maura, Lo, Jillian, Natania and Britton….Now, I know Lo, but who the hell are those other four?! Eighty percent of Lauren’s BEST FRIENDS are people who I’ve never seen on TV before?

It is understandable that Conrad is not interested in revealing more details of her personal life; she just wants to tell a story. At times, however, this can be quite frustrating. Filming of the show-within-the-book (called, naturally, “L.A. Candy”) doesn’t even start until after the first 100 pages. Reading those pages has kind of a “get-on-with-it” feeling, like reading the first 75 pages of Crime and Punishment, before Raskolnikov kills anyone. (God, did I jut compare Lauren Conrad to Dostoevsky? That was unintentional.)

Those first 100 pages are very expository, as we are introduced to the novel’s other characters, including Scarlett, Jane’s best friend, Braden, Jane’s love interest, and Trevor Lord, the Adam Divello of the novel, who casts Jane and Scarlett for PopTV and runs the show (get it? His name is “Lord” because he controls everything). Some of these character introductions are awkward, as the writing tends to err on the “tell” side of the show/tell ratio. When Jane and Scarlett meet Diego, or “D”, a friendly personal assistant, for example, this exchange occurs:
“Oh, double F. It’s the boss lady. I’ve gotta bail, sweets, or she’s going to serve my private parts on a sushi platter at her dinner party tonight.”

Jane giggled. D was one of the funniest guys she’d ever met. He was quick and sassy, but friendly.
Conrad also spends a disproportionate amount of the book on physical appearances: height, makeup, hair color, clothing, stubble-lengths, hairstyles. We are constantly reminded that certain characters look “cute” or “hot” or “awesome,” particularly Scarlett, who is quite the stunner.

I would definitely choose Lauren !